One Summer in Monte Carlo Read online

  Patsy shook her head. ‘Oh, Nanette. If you feel like that, I don’t know what to say or suggest. I just don’t want you being hurt again. I’m afraid you’ll find going back a lot harder than you expect. Could you cope with any recriminations that might occur? If you do go and things get too difficult, promise me you’ll come straight back here, with the twins if necessary.’

  ‘Where else would I go?’ Nanette said quietly. ‘The thing is, what do I do if I don’t agree to take the twins to Monaco? I was so shocked I didn’t think to ask Vanessa what would happen if I said no. What if I refuse and the twins go to Monaco anyway, where does that leave me? My job and my home will have disappeared. I’ll have to find somewhere else.’

  ‘Oh, come on, Nanette. Vanessa has always treated you as part of her family. That’s not likely to change,’ Patsy said. ‘She’ll probably offer to find you a job in the office. She’s certainly not going to throw you out on the street.’

  ‘I guess you’re right.’ Nanette sighed, looking at her sister. ‘Are you all right? You look a bit pale,’ she asked, concerned.

  Patsy put down her virtually untouched glass of champagne. ‘Excuse me – don’t know why it’s called morning sickness, mine comes morning, noon and night,’ and she disappeared in the direction of the bathroom. ‘Back in a mo.’ An ashen Patsy reappeared a few minutes later. ‘If you don’t mind, I’m going to go to bed. We’ll talk more tomorrow.’

  2

  Nanette followed her sister up the stairs, deciding to have an early night herself. Unpacking the suitcase in her familiar bedroom tucked away in the eaves of the farmhouse, she remembered the weeks she’d spent here with Patsy mothering and fussing around her after the accident. An accident that she herself remembered little about. All she could recall was the physical and mental pain she’d suffered on the flight back from Monaco, when both her body and her successful career lay in tatters. Her dreams of marriage and a family were all shattered too.

  Vanessa had visited several times. On one visit, a couple of months after the accident, she’d arrived with a proposition.

  ‘You’re looking better than the last time I saw you,’ she’d said.

  ‘Considering I was still black and blue and various bits of me were swathed in bandages, that’s not so hard.’ Nanette had smiled. ‘How are the twins? Your business?’

  ‘Pierre and Olivia are fine and the business is really taking off,’ Vanessa had replied. ‘Mathieu has taken them to Disneyland for a few days. He was a lousy husband, but I have to give him credit – he does try to be a good father. I just wish he hadn’t decided to live in Monaco permanently. It makes access a bit complicated.’ She’d glanced across at Nanette. ‘Have you made any plans for your future yet?’

  Nanette shook her head. ‘No. I’m trying to find the courage to face the world again, but I just don’t know where to start. My body has been battered and broken, I don’t have a job and my savings are rapidly disappearing. So, do I get fit before I start to look for a job to get back on my feet? Or do I stay here with Patsy and Bryan and try to find work locally. Or what?’ She’d looked helplessly at Vanessa. ‘On top of it all, I feel such a fool.’

  ‘Hey, you’re not a fool. You were holding down a very busy and stressful job when the accident happened. If Zac Ewart had an ounce of decency in him, he’d have supported you, made sure you had a job to go back to, not dumped you before the case came to court. Honestly, Nanette, I can’t believe he behaved as he did. Talk about putting the boot in when you were down. You were engaged, for goodness sake. He should have stood by you.’

  Nanette had bitten her lip as she’d listened to her friend and vainly tried to stop the tears flowing down her cheeks. It was what she’d expected to happen too. Instead she hadn’t heard from her erstwhile fiancé since she left Monaco. Although she had seen the headlines about the accident, calling him a hero and her a reckless driver.

  Vanessa, instantly contrite, had put her arms around her friend. ‘Nanette, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just I get so mad on your behalf.’ There’d been a pause before she’d continued, ‘How do you feel about moving to Bristol and coming to work for me?’

  Nanette had looked at her in surprise. ‘You need a PA for the business?’

  Vanessa shook her head. ‘No. Caroline is doing a great job. What I need is a housekeeper and someone to help with the twins. I know it’s not what you’re trained for, but maybe a complete change for a while would be good? I have a very busy few months coming up and I need someone at home I can trust to look after the twins and generally take care of things.’

  ‘You’re not offering me a job out of pity?’ Nanette had asked.

  ‘Definitely not. I’m trying to juggle home and work and I’m desperate for some help. Being a single mum is difficult enough without trying to start and keep a business afloat. I need you, Nanette.’

  ‘What happens about getting the twins to Monaco to visit Mathieu? I couldn’t face taking them there. I can’t do the school run either now I’ve lost my licence,’ Nanette had added quietly.

  ‘Mathieu will have to collect them. We’ll sort something out so you don’t have to go. As for the school run, we’re only ten minutes away. Much better for them to walk anyway. I can’t pay you a fortune, but you’ll have your own room, your keep – although you’ll be in charge of the cooking! I thought it would help us both – you to get back on your feet and recover from recent events, and me, because I will have someone I can trust utterly while I concentrate on this business and make it work.’

  ‘Maybe we could try it for a couple of months? See how things work out,’ Nanette had said thoughtfully. ‘Have to warn you though, I’m not a brilliant cook.’

  ‘Great,’ Vanessa had said. ‘School starts next week, so how d’you feel about coming back with me tomorrow? You can settle in and have a few days to organise a routine.’

  Patsy had fussed over her like a mother hen for the next twenty-four hours, worried that she wasn’t ready to leave the sanctuary of the farm, but pleased that there was to be some purpose in her life again.

  The couple of months’ trial had gone quickly and Nanette, finding she enjoyed a domestic working environment more than she’d thought possible, had happily agreed to stay on permanently. It was certainly less stressful than her previous job as a PA to a Grand Prix racing driver. She adored looking after the twins and running the house, especially when Vanessa was away on one of her frequent business trips. It was like having her own home and children, something she’d always wanted – had imagined having by now, if only things had turned out differently.

  Mathieu visited frequently, much to the twins’ delight. Separated and divorced when the children were still tiny, he and Vanessa had managed to remain friends despite their differences and both did their best for the twins. Pierre and Olivia were now so used to the way their lives were divided between both their parents and England and Monaco, they simply accepted it as the way their particular family worked.

  Things had, of course, changed when Vanessa met Ralph eighteen months ago, but everyone had been careful to make sure the twins were happy and knew they were loved by both their parents. Today’s marriage ceremony would serve to cement their own happy nuclear family. Nanette loved the three of them and was already very fond of Ralph. He and Vanessa were so right for each other.

  The sudden switching on of an outside light, flashing a beam into the room, brought Nanette out of her reminiscing and back to the present. She glanced out of the window to see Bryan, the happy father-to-be, on his way across the farmyard to do his final night-time check of the animals in the barn. Earlier, the twins had helped him fill the hay racks and now, as Bryan opened the barn door, Nanette caught a whiff of the hay and the acetic smell of contented cows chewing the cud.

  Thoughtfully, Nanette drew the curtains and went to finish her unpacking. Could she really turn her back on everything Vanessa had done for her and refuse to help out? Besides, if she didn’t agree to
take the twins to Monaco, where would that leave her? Patsy, she knew, would welcome her with open arms if she decided to move in and live on the farm permanently with her and Bryan. But soon they would be their own little family unit, and she dreaded the thought of morphing into the aged spinster aunt who just existed without a proper life of her own.

  Patsy was right when she said Vanessa treated her like family, but relatives had fallen out over less and Nanette dreaded the thought of losing contact with Vanessa and the twins simply because she refused to go to Monaco and face up to her past.

  Nanette sighed. It was such a big unexpected decision to have to take and so little time in which to consider all the options, to get her thoughts in order and to make the right decision. She could only hope a good night’s sleep would help clear her mind and in the morning she would be nearer to having the answer. If she managed to sleep at all that was.

  3

  The smell of freshly percolating coffee greeted Nanette as she made her way down to the large kitchen on Sunday morning. Patsy was busy pushing sprigs of rosemary and gloves of garlic into a large leg of lamb ready to roast for lunch.

  ‘Hi. Did you sleep well? The twins are helping Bryan feed the baby calves. Help yourself to coffee. You know where the cereals are. There’s plenty of bread for toast. Can you pass me the pot of honey please? I want to drizzle some over the lamb. I’d offer you bacon and eggs, but I can’t stand the smell of bacon cooking at the moment.’

  ‘Coffee and toast will be just fine. I’ll do the vegetables for lunch afterwards, shall I?’ Nanette asked as she handed her sister the honey.

  ‘Thanks. Helen always insists on bringing the dessert so I don’t have to worry, she says. More like she doesn’t like my pastry! I thought we could go for a walk after lunch – maybe take the twins down to the lake. Helen always likes Bryan to take her on a tour of the farm on Sunday afternoons, like they used to when Albert was alive.’ Patsy sighed. ‘Honestly, Nanette, sometimes I could strangle the woman, but she does mean well, I suppose. I thought when she finally moved out, things would be better. She’d get an independent life again. Leave Bryan and me to our own devices a bit more.’ Patsy shook her head. ‘Nothing’s really changed. She’s still up here every day on some pretence or other and Sunday lunch here every week has become something of a ritual set in stone. Not sure how I’m going to deal with all the “grandmotherly” advice that is sure to be heaped on me. That’s why I need you here as an ally when junior arrives.’ Patsy glanced at her sister. ‘Any closer to deciding what you’re going to do about Vanessa’s request?’

  Nanette shook her head. ‘Still mulling it over. Maybe the walk this afternoon will clear my head and I’ll be able to think straight.’ She certainly hoped so. As she’d expected, sleep had evaded her for most of last night and she’d tossed and turned for hours trying to reach a decision without success.

  Helen arrived just as Patsy placed the roast in the Aga and immediately queried whether it would be cooked in time.

  ‘I always had the meat in the range by ten o’clock at the latest. Ready for lunch at one on the dot. Still, you young things abhor routines, don’t you? Mind you, once the baby arrives, you’ll soon change your tune.’

  ‘Helen, it’s lovely to see you again,’ Nanette said quickly before Patsy could respond to her mother-in-law’s criticisms. ‘How’s life in your new home?’ She couldn’t decide whether Helen’s prickly nature had got worse since she’d handed over the farmhouse to Bryan and Patsy or whether the woman had always been so… so prickly.

  ‘Different to what I’ve been used to, but I’m settling in nicely, thank you. Once Bryan finishes off a couple more little jobs, I’ll be really organised. Ready to devote my time to helping Patsy with the new addition.’ Helen slanted a look at Nanette. ‘How about you? Your memory completely back to normal now?’ she asked briskly. ‘I saw a picture in one of the Sunday papers recently of – oh, what’s his name? Your ex-fiancé, anyway. Had a blonde on his arm. Said something about him being newly single again and playing the field. Zachary – that’s his name.’

  ‘I saw that photo too,’ Nanette said quietly. ‘As for my memory, I still have no recollection of certain things people tell me happened three years ago – maybe it’s for the best,’ she added, forcing a smile in Helen’s direction. ‘Otherwise I’m fine. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll just go check on the twins.’ Leaving the kitchen, Nanette mouthed an apologetic, ‘Sorry – I’ll see you later,’ at Patsy before closing the kitchen door behind her.

  After a slightly strained Iunch, Nanette, Patsy and the twins went for their planned walk down to the lake at the far end of the farm, with the twins running ahead.

  ‘I’m sorry Helen assumed your memory had returned to normal,’ Patsy said quietly. ‘And mentioned you-know-who. I know you find both difficult to handle.’

  Nanette shook her head wearily. ‘Don’t worry. I wish my memory of that evening would return, but I’m beginning to believe it never will now. As for Zac, well, I can’t hide from news about him for ever.’ Opening a heavy farm gate so that Patsy didn’t have to climb over as the twins had done, Nanette said to her sister, ‘Actually, I think Helen’s comments have helped me make up my mind. I can’t run from the past for ever, so’ – she took a deep breath – ‘I’m going to tell Vanessa, yes, I will go to Monaco. At least Mathieu will be around if there are any problems with the twins and he’ll be a friend for me too.’

  That night, though, the nightmares that had taunted Nanette for months, years, after the accident returned with a vengeance.

  Nanette could feel the wind tearing at her face as she frantically skied faster and faster down the mountainside. Adrenalin flowed through her veins as she heard the noise of the avalanche behind her gathering speed, devouring everything in its way. Her lungs forced a terror-stricken scream into the air. She couldn’t die like this, she…

  ‘Nanette, Nanette, wake up. You’re having one of your nightmares,’ Patsy shook her gently.

  A shudder went through Nanette’s body as she came to.

  ‘Here, have a sip.’ Patsy handed her a glass of water. ‘What was it this time? Another monster breaking into the house? An earthquake?’

  Nanette shook her head. ‘No. I was caught up in an avalanche.’ She took a sip of the water as Patsy regarded her thoughtfully.

  ‘It’s been ages since you’ve had a nightmare.’

  Nanette nodded. ‘I know. I was hoping they’d finally finished,’ she said, her body still racked with shakes.

  ‘The therapist was saying only last month that it was a good sign I’d gone for so long without one. Wonder what interpretation she’ll put on tonight’s little episode?’ Nanette added through chattering teeth. ‘It was horrible.’

  ‘The stress of planning the wedding? Or maybe the thought of returning to Monaco?’ Patsy said, giving her sister a concerned glance. ‘Are you cold? Shall I get you a hot-water bottle?’

  ‘No, thanks. I’ll snuggle back under the duvet in a moment and I’ll soon warm up.’ Nanette smiled at her sister. ‘You go back to bed. Remember your condition. Don’t want you with dark circles under your eyes tomorrow, or rather today.’ She glanced at the bedside clock. ‘I’m sorry I woke you.’

  ‘If you’re sure you’re OK,’ Patsy said. ‘I could stay with you for a bit?’

  ‘I’m fine. Go back to bed,’ Nanette ordered. ‘l’ll leave the light on for a bit.’

  Patsy glanced anxiously at her before leaving and pulling the door closed behind her.

  Once she was alone, Nanette sat on the edge of the bed and took some deep breaths, trying to get her shaking body under control. It was never easy to banish the apprehension and terror that the nightmares brought.

  Sitting there, watching a moth seemingly mesmerised by the bedside light, flying frantically round and round, Nanette’s thoughts flitted about in a similar manner over her latest nightmare.

  These terrifying dreams had been an irregular part of her nights fo
r nearly three years now. Ever since the car accident in which she – and Zachary Ewart – had nearly died.

  The therapist, whom Patsy had persuaded her to see when the nightmares began in the weeks after the accident, had been right when she’d said they would happen less and less as time went on. Tonight’s nightmare, though, had been truly terrifying. As bad as any she’d ever had.

  Slowly, as she sat there, the shaking stopped and the feeling of devastation retreated into her subconscious. There had been an extra dimension to the nightmare tonight – something that had lingered as she’d woken up.

  As she’d hurtled down that slope in the path of the avalanche, screaming in terror, she hadn’t been alone. A shadowy figure had been alongside, urging her on.

  ‘Faster, faster. Remember, remember…’

  Remember what? Despondently, Nanette replayed the nightmare in her mind, trying to come up with some positive memory from the episode, but her brain refused to co-operate.

  Wearily, she slipped under the duvet and reached out to turn off the bedside light. Hopefully the rest of the night would pass peacefully. Now the decision was made and she was going to return to Monaco, she would need all her strength to get through the memories the coming weeks and months were sure to throw at her. She could only pray that she was making the right decision for her, but, in truth, what else could she do?

  4

  Returning to Vanessa’s with the twins after their weekend stay at Blackberry Farm, Nanette caught up with the usual chores that were involved with looking after Pierre and Olivia. Vanessa and Ralph returned late the same day, with Vanessa shooting an anxious, enquiring look at Nanette. Nanette smiled at her and nodded before saying, ‘We need to talk about it.’ But it wasn’t until the evening of the following day that she had the opportunity to talk properly to both Vanessa and Ralph.